This Isn't Fast Times At Ridgemont High: The XXX ParodyFavorites [+]
Making a porn parody of "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" is a pretty big deal. You have to do justice to the Phoebe Cates bikini scene that fueled the erections of a generation. You need the right Jeff Spicoli and you should give him a hot surfer chick or two to screw. Stacy should hook up with Damone, but what to do about the sticky end to their doomed tryst? Thankfully, director Sammy Slater does right by "Fast Times" and its fans with "This Isn't Fast Times at Ridgemont High: The XXX Parody."
Early in the morning on the first day of school, Jeff Spermcoli (Chad Alva, previously known as Vin Vericose) tumbles out of his van and wanders into the classroom of Mr. Handle (Scott Lyons). When Mr. Handle asks why he's here so early, Spermcoli says he's been inspired to change his ways and we see a flashback of the life-changing event. Over the summer he won a surfing championship and two of the most righteous big-titted babes ever (Latin lust machine Charley Chase and Spanish-born blonde Bridgette B.) proceeded to help him celebrate. It starts with a great double blowjob, after which Spermcoli titty-fucks one girl after the other. After a while Bridgette demands, "Can we fuck now?" Well, who doesn't love a no-bullshit approach like that? She gets to take his cock first, in doggy, while she's eating out Charley's half-shaved pussy. Next Spermcoli does Charley in the same position. The three of them have a blast and the dialogue is how you'd expect a surfer dude and two surf groupies from 1982 to talk.
How did this inspire Spermcoli to stop being a stoner surf dude? Well, it turns out Spermcoli hasn't really turned over a new leaf after all. He's fallen asleep in class and Mr. Handle wakes him up just before a pizza dude arrives. Spermcoli explains that he figures eating pizza in class is OK because it's his time as much as it is Mr. Handle's time. Using that logic, Mr. Handle decides to fuck a blonde student named Susan (Chastity Lynn) on his desk with Spermcoli watching. Spermcoli, of course, thinks it's pretty righteous – even more so when Susan takes it in the ass. Susan has that girl-next-door look, a tight body with nipples like pencil erasers, and lots of energy, all of which makes for a fun scene.
Mark, aka Rat, has a date with Stacy (Naudia Nice) but the boy is so awkward that he flees in terror when she puts the moves on him. Maybe he should have followed Damone's (Seth Gamble) "five-point plan" to scoring with a girl. The next day, Damone drags Rat over to Stacy's house unannounced so they can hang out in the pool.
Brad (Michael Vegas), Stacy's brother, has the hots for Stacy's friend Linda (Tori Black). Who wouldn't? But she laughs at his pirate costume from work when they pass each other on the road, so he feels too stupid to stop and talk to Linda when he gets home and finds her sunning herself by the pool in her red bikini. Just like Judge Reinhold jerking off to the fantasy of Phoebe Cates taking her bikini top off, Brad sits by the bathroom window watching Linda and imagines her doing the same thing as he masturbates. But this being porn, he gets to take that fantasy further! Linda struts toward him, unties the string bikini top, and reveals her desire for him as she strips him out of his business suit. She kneels and lets him fuck her throat, begging, "Please, Brad, please stuff your cock in my pretty face." He does, and then she makes a nice, snug home for it in her pussy as well. She looks gorgeous bouncing along in each position with the sun shining down on her incredible body. Linda's constant stream of dirty talk is a turn-on and as the fantasy ends with Brad cumming on her face, the real-life Brad unfortunately finds his jerk session interrupted when the real-life Linda barges into the bathroom without knocking.
Stacy sees Damone when she's walking home from school and invites him over. At first he resists because he's friends with Rat, whom he knows is really into Stacy, but her interest has shifted to Damone since her date with Rat ended badly. Just as long as Stacy doesn't tell Rat what they're about to do, Damone is all about some pool room sex. They strip naked and Damone fondles and kisses her big natural breasts, whose hard nipples have been teasing us through her thin bathing suit top. As he's about to enter her, she asks him to be gentle because it's her first time, and it's pretty believable the way she shyly asks if he likes her tits and asks if she can suck him off halfway through. He thinks she's a natural at giving head, so much so that he starts fucking her face. Once back to the fucking, Stacy rides on top and those big tits look great bouncing. It's a hot, sweaty fuck and even though Damone is not really a nice guy, he wasn't one in the original movie either. Well, at least this time he knows where to aim that cumshot where it won't get her pregnant!
"This Isn't Fast Times at Ridgemont High: The XXX Parody" from Devil's Film is lots of fun for those who love the original, with just enough references to keep you entertained in between all the hot sex scenes. Most of the performers are perfectly cast and the movie is pretty true to the feeling of the real "Fast Times at Ridgemont High." This parody is not to be missed.